Ancient China - Age Gap

Age Gap and Coming of age

 

Age gap:

In ancient China, the acceptable age gap in marriage varied by dynasty and social status, but a husband being a few years older was typical, and extremely large gaps (10-12 years or more) were often ridiculed or limited to the very wealthy, who took concubines. 

Typical Marriage Ages and Gaps

• Early Dynasties (Before the Qin): A man's marriageable age generally ranged from 20 to 30, and a woman's from 15 to 20. A "proper" gap was considered necessary for a harmonious life.
• Later Dynasties (e.g., Tang, Song to Qing): The minimum legal age for marriage was often lower, sometimes set at 14 for women and 16 for men. (Sui system, add 2 years) **

Average Gaps: In many periods, especially among the common people, partners were generally of comparable age, with husbands typically just a few years older than their wives (e.g., 0.5 to 2.5 years).  

Variations and Notable Exceptions

• Wealth and Status: Wealthy or high-status men might take much younger concubines, but this was a sign of status and the practice of concubinage was distinct from the primary marriage. The poet Zhang Xian was famously teased for taking a concubine 62 years his junior when he was 80.
• Socioeconomic Factors: Age gaps could be influenced by economic hardship. In some cases, poor men were unable to marry until later in life, leading to larger age differences with their brides. Wars also led to a shortage of men, impacting marriage patterns and sometimes leading to larger age gaps.
• Arranged Marriages: Marriages were typically arranged by parents, who considered a variety of factors beyond age, including family status and astrological compatibility (zodiac signs). 

A Note on Age Calculation: Sui system

Age in ancient China was traditionally calculated using the Sui system, where a person was considered one year old at birth and gained another year at each Lunar New Year. This means that, by traditional reckoning, a person's age could be one or two years older than their actual (Western) age.
 

 ** The author did not mention this calculation. Keep in mind that calendars were vastly different in ancient times (Eastern and Western). 

We can only assume that the heroine is 15 when she transmigrates and 17 when she is betrothed, and the heroes are 20, 23, and 23, respectively... which makes more sense in my humble opinion. **

 

Coming of Age:

Coming of age in ancient China was marked by Confucian rituals: the Guan Li (Capping Ceremony) for 20-year-old men and the Ji Li (Hairpin Ceremony) for 15-year-old women, signifying transition to adult responsibility, marriage eligibility, and receiving a new style name (courtesy name), symbolizing maturity and social duties, often involving caps or hairpins and formal attire. 

For Young Men: Guan Li (冠礼) 

• Age: Around 20 years old.
• Ritual: A respected elder would place a formal cap (guan) on the youth's head, often in stages with different caps and robes, symbolizing new status.
• Significance: Marked entry into manhood, readiness for marriage, and assumption of family/societal duties, with a new courtesy name (zi) often bestowed.

For Young Women: Ji Li (笄礼) 

• Age: Around 15 years old.
• Ritual: A female elder would place a hairpin (ji) in the girl's hair, styling it into an elegant bun, signifying womanhood.
• Significance: Showcased readiness for marriage and new societal roles, with an emphasis on proper conduct and skills like needlework.